Last May, my husband graduated from Westminster Seminary California. After six years of intense study, he was ready to enter the ministry, ready to faithfully preach the Gospel. An evangelical and reformed church in Iowa called Brian as their senior pastor, and we accepted. Three weeks after the birth of our son, we moved across the nation into our new lives: as parents, as pastor and pastor's wife, as Iowans, as a stay-at-home-mom ...no part of our lives remained the same. We've been here three months now. I adore my son and love being his mom. I love that God called me to be this perfect little boy's mom. I love all the space the house has. I love that my husband is now my pastor. I love his sermons. I love being within driving distance of our families. But there are so many things that I miss. I miss my friends. I miss deep, meaningful, Christ-centered conversations. I miss having people truly care about me. I miss people who know me. I miss the palm trees. I miss the weather. I miss the beach. I miss cities. I miss Starbucks, Chipotle, and Panera Bread. I miss the busy-ness of stores and restaurants. I miss my sixth graders. I miss my colleagues. I miss California and all it has to offer. I am lonely. I busy myself by playing with my son and being the best mom I can be to him. I busy myself by striving to be a good wife. I busy myself by meal planning and cooking [something I used to hate! but am starting to enjoy]. I busy myself by doing a house-chore each day. I busy myself by laughing with my sweet boy as he coos and giggles. I busy myself by trying to get together with women in the church at least a few times a week. I busy myself by spending time in God's Word. I busy myself by memorizing Scripture [I just started memorizing the book of Philippians.].
This move will be the best thing for me: I cling to Ephesians 3:20, "Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us." Time and time again, God has made true this verse in my life. I know that His calling us to this tiny town is GOOD. He will do as He has promised in Ephesians 3. I pray that this move and life here will be better than I could have asked for or even imagined. Simply knowing that our Sovereign Lord and Savior has brought us here has kept me sane. I am in the center of His will for my life; so how am I going to respond? With bitterness and a constant feeling of discontentment because I'm not where I think I want to be? Many days I wake up like this. But this new life has brought me to my knees and given me a desire to know God like no other experience in my life. And it IS good. The goal of my life is not happiness, it's holiness [although, I definitely would love to be happy!]. I began reading Jerry Bridge's
The Pursuit of Holiness. Holiness is my life's goal and I am excited to learn from Jerry's book. For my own sake, I will detail important parts of each chapter on this blog. I have a terrible memory, and this will enable me to grapple with and remember important concepts, truths, and promises of God. I am not sure about blogging, but I do need a place to document what I am learning in my walk with the LORD. I don't know what this blog will become. Maybe a place to share pictures of our sweet boy? Maybe a place to post curriculum ideas and goals? Maybe a place to post my weekly menus? Maybe a place to share life's happenings? Not sure yet, but I pray that God may be glorified in my life, even through my insignificant ramblings on this blog.
Psalm 145: 17 was of great encouragement to me today in regards to my 'new' life: "The LORD is righteous in all his ways and
kind in all his works." Whatever happens in these next years, may I trust and cling to the promise that God is "kind in ALL his works."
My sweet boy. 3.5 months.
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