SAHM Redefined?

I have a love-hate relationship with money.  On one hand, it can provide the most wonderful things; on the other, it's a necessary evil.

But it's been on my mind lately.

I ponder the self-control it takes to stick to my list at Target and not add additional items to my Amazon cart.

I grieve over the time it takes to clip coupons, find (or create) budget-friendly, healthy meal plans.

I read about the Proverbs 31 wife who "...makes, ...sells, ...delivers, ...works, ...buys."

I sinfully [and shamefully] lust after the jobs other SAHM [stay-at-home-moms] have - SAHMs don't really exist anymore.  SAHMs are teaching online, instructing college students in summer courses, selling Shaklee or Beauticontrol or Scentsy, cleaning churches, working for perfect companies that let them come in any day of the week for any three hours that work best for their schedules, blogging professionally with thousands of followers, etc.

I feel guilty on the 18th of every month as I write my student loan check - was that Master's degree worth it?  I am not using it.  Oh, how I want to be using it - on my terms, of course...from HOME, very part-time.

I get upset and frustrated with myself for being like this - guilty, sinful, desiring more, etc.

As I've spent time in prayer and studying God's Word these last few days, I've been reminded of what my real, God-given jobs are.  I've also been rebuked because my focus has been totally off.

God reminded me of my son: Aidan is my job - to train him up in godliness.

You shall teach them [commandments] diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.

Deuteronomy 6:7

God reminded me of my husband: Even before my son, I am called to be Brian's helpmeet.  One simple example is that I always drive when we travel.  If I had a job, I wouldn't be as ready and willing to let Brian answer emails or study for his sermon in the Jeep.  And driving is simple - it's often the emotional and spiritual support of him that I fail at.

Then the LORD God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him."

Genesis 2:18

God reminded me of my life: It's His.  He made me a wife.  He made me a mom.  He made me a ministry wife.  He gave me a love for students and teaching.  He is the One who opens and closes doors of opportunity.  He, if He desires that I work part-time, will open that door.  Since He hasn't, I need to move forward, by faith, each day trusting that He will provide for all of our needs and give me the self-control to say no to that facial cream that promises to take away all my sun-spots and decrease my pore size.

God reminded me of His view on money: Don't love it.  God will give us exactly what we need, providing for our everything.  It is my prayer that I wouldn't focus on what I don't have or can't do, but that I would be satisfied in Christ alone - for He is all I truly need and He is the One who satisfies all of my longings.  

For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils.  It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.

I Timothy 6:10

So, today, I'm going forward - battling my desires to be discontent and trusting the LORD with everything.  I'm going to be faithful and satisfied with the tasks God has given me today.  May I be a wife, mom, pastor's wife, friend, sister, daughter, daughter-in-law, etc. for His glory.  And, who knows, maybe the LORD will open a door for me to use my Master's degree very part-time to earn a little extra gas or savings money.  In His time, of course, because His timing is perfect.