Bed Rest Update #1

Today is Day #9 of bedrest at Abbott, and Baby Girl is now 30 weeks and 5 days in utero.  

I am so thankful to the LORD for His continued graciousness and mercy: Baby Girl is healthy and still inside; I've had no contractions; and I have not (yet) developed an infection.  Pray that nothing changes until she's delivered on (or after) June 1.

The outpouring of love and prayers from our families, church family, and friends has been simply incredible.  Sometimes tears just run down my cheeks because I am overwhelmed at their kindness and thoughtfulness.  From beautiful bouquets of flowers, visitors from Garner (2 hours away), and a dear sister-in-law who stayed for a girl's night to a sweet lady at church shoving gas money in Brian's pocket, friends doing my laundry & ironing Brian's shirts, and Mary keeping Leo for 9 days, I am humbled beyond measure.

And I simply cannot believe how well I am doing emotionally.  I thought being in this hospital room for 5 weeks (I am allotted one 30 minute wheelchair ride per day) would be incredibly difficult, but God is ever-present and constantly good.  I rest in His Sovereignty and am so thankful that He loves our family and is working all things for our good.  I am at peace. Truly He has supplied "every need of [mine] according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus" (Phil 4:19).

Yes, I miss my Brian and Aidan like crazy.  I grieved all the things that I had planned to do with Aidan in May & June as I wanted to cherish every last moment with him as an only child.  I still daily grieve the loss of my everyday with both them.  And I grieve for Brian.  It's infinitely more difficult to take on the role of Mom in addition to the roles of Dad and Pastor than it is to just lie here on bedrest.  Please keep praying for him like crazy - that God would provide for all his needs, that things would go smoothly (last night the TIDE was on top of the washer and it fell off during the spin cycle, crashing to the floor and spilling TIDE everywhere - what a time suck to have to clean that up), and that he would prioritize his time well.  For Aidan, please pray that God would protect his emotions, meet all of his needs, and be drawing him closer to Jesus.  May God do great things in our hearts during this trial.  And how many people get to come out of a difficult trial with a brand new baby girl?  We are so so blessed.

My sweet friend, Sarah, sent me this song.  It's words are so rich and so TRUE!

Meredith Andrews: Not for a Moment

 

Moms Need the Gospel

Reader beware:  I was just dusting and going off on a tangent in my mind against the law-based "gospel".  I heard it again this morning at MOPS and walked away more discouraged than encouraged.

Why?

Because I was told that in order to be a really good and Godly mom I must:

1. Get three piggy banks for each child (one for savings, one for church, and one for missions)

2. Stay-at-home

3. Homeschool if there isn't a Christian school in the area

Etc. etc. etc.

UGH.

The speaker gave us an idea-filled "to-do" list, patted us on the back, and sent us on our way.  I left thinking:  I do and will fail as a mom.  I may not homeschool (oh, please no, LORD).  And it is very likely that I will not want three piggy banks per child cluttering up my house (although I do want to instill in my children a love for giving to the Church and teach them the skill of saving).

I love parenting ideas.  I love gleaning from the wisdom of older, more Godly women.  However, when the gospel of Jesus Christ is left out of the equation, you're left with feelings of despair.

What should the speaker have told us today in addition to all of her good ideas?

That we won't always be able to incorporate her ideas or, if we do, they might not all work.  It has to be the Holy Spirit working in the hearts of us and our children, drawing us to Christ.  

And we will miss opportunities with our children - we may be impatient with them, forget to show tender love, neglect to pray for them or, heaven-forbid, place them in a public school. ;)  But we can take heart -  God's grace is sufficient.

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.

II Corinthians 12:9

So look today to the cross.  It's there where Christ died, purchased forgiveness for our sins, and granted us the power to grow in godliness.  We won't be perfect mothers or remember to incorporate every good piece of advice into our mothering - but Christ has promised to help us when we're weak, providing us grace to love our children.  He will do it - He will provide it all.  Rest in what He has done for you on the cross, and trust Him in all of your parenting.

Psalm 23

We all know Psalm 23.  In fact, it’s one of those chapters in the Bible that I often skip over because I very pridefully think, “Oh, I already know what that says,” or “That’s for Christians who are just learning about the Bible,” because it was one of the first chapters I was ever introduced to as a new believer.

However, during a recent lament to my husband about my many hopes, dreams, and desires (from simple things such as a white crib & dresser for our girlie to big things that seem impossible such as a Reformed, classical education for my children) that I feel may never come to fruition, he simply and lovingly responded, “Remember Psalm 23, honey?  The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.”  I shall not want. 

As I read and pondered verse 1, I was struck by God’s precious promises in the verses that follow.  What does He promise to do?  “Make me lie down in green pastures…lead me beside still waters…restore my soul…and lead me in paths of righteousness.”  Why?  “For his name’s sake.”

Those promises are great, mighty and incredibly comforting.  Although my hopes and dreams may turn out differently than those that God may have for me and my family, I can trust that they will be what is best for me – knowing Christ and Him crucified – it is in that knowing and resting that I will find comfort and rest for my weary, lusting, sinful soul.

Pastor Appreciation

I never knew October was Pastor Appreciation month until I became a pastor's wife.  I wish I had been more aware and could have blessed my former pastors in ways that we have been blessed.  These last few weeks, I have been completely overwhelmed by the generosity of our congregants.

Let me share:

• Gifts of prayer.  Our head elder brought our family up front a few Sundays ago to verbally show his appreciation for our ministry on behalf of the church and pray for us.  His prayer for us meant so much - that's what we need the most!
• Gifts of money.  Some in the church have been so generous to show their appreciation through wonderful cards and gifts.  I used all of the money for bills except for $100 of which I spent at Pottery Barn for home decor.  What a fun treat that was!  Maybe my package will arrive today!?
• Gifts of meat.  Many in our church our farmers.  Our freezer is always full of beef and pork - we are so thankful for how this reduces our grocery bill.
•  Gifts of yummies.  Some sweet ladies are always dropping off baked goods.  And there is one man who usually drops off muffins for Aidan a few times a month.  Now Aidan always associates muffins with Mr. Al.
• Gifts of grace.  Sometimes this mama just needs to get out of the house.  I am so thankful for those who invite us out to their farm to ride in the tractors, see the cows, feed apples to the donkey, pick pumpkins, rake leaves & ride in the Gator, etc. 

We are thankful to our congregants for all the ways they love on us, pray for us, and bless us with their gifts.  THANK YOU, Zion-ites.

Ministry Friendships

I love the way pastor's wife Christine @ Grace Covers Me blogs.  She is very detailed, yet void of details.  She's specific, yet not specific.  I struggle with that when sharing my ministry struggles.  But, I'm going to try:

When people begin with, "I wish our church..." I immediately tense up.  I think, "Are they upset with something my husband is doing?  What do I need to say?  Should I respond?  If so, how?"  But when it happened again last night, I was in total agreement with what this person was saying regarding a particular ministry of the church.  How do I respond in cases like that?  I shared my thoughts and ideas that I'd had (ones that I'd previously discussed with my husband) and yet I came home with a sinking feeling.

Normally, I am mum.  I dare not say anything.  And yet I want to be a good member of the church (aside from my role as pastor's wife); I want to be a member who is daily in God's Word and learning doctrine not only to deepen my own faith in Jesus, but to help draw others in our church to Him.  Discussing things like my (& Brian's) desire to have a Titus 2 sort of ministry is a good thing to discuss with friends. My desires for our members/friends/family to be reading good theology books, in God's Word daily, etc. is a good thing to discuss (shoot, I'm not being vague like Christine).  But yet there's that sinking feeling - as if I was making them all feel guilty for not doing x,y, and z.

Guilt was not my intention.  I was just sharing my heart.  The burdens of ministry are like houseguests (love Christine's analogy), constantly with Brian & me and being discussed by us.  It's difficult, then, for me to just "shut-off" that portion of my being when I am around friends from church.  So then I try to be clear - I don't mean you - but the sinking feeling remains and looks of guilt or dread fill their eyes.  Maybe my desires need to stay with seminary besties or my husband or family.  Friendships in the ministry can be so tricky - I want to go deep - to know and be known - but I never want to make them feel guilty.  I want them to love Jesus with their whole hearts and be my friend!  OR I want face-time with my besties.  I feel like I'm asking too much!  Any thoughts?

SAHM Redefined?

I have a love-hate relationship with money.  On one hand, it can provide the most wonderful things; on the other, it's a necessary evil.

But it's been on my mind lately.

I ponder the self-control it takes to stick to my list at Target and not add additional items to my Amazon cart.

I grieve over the time it takes to clip coupons, find (or create) budget-friendly, healthy meal plans.

I read about the Proverbs 31 wife who "...makes, ...sells, ...delivers, ...works, ...buys."

I sinfully [and shamefully] lust after the jobs other SAHM [stay-at-home-moms] have - SAHMs don't really exist anymore.  SAHMs are teaching online, instructing college students in summer courses, selling Shaklee or Beauticontrol or Scentsy, cleaning churches, working for perfect companies that let them come in any day of the week for any three hours that work best for their schedules, blogging professionally with thousands of followers, etc.

I feel guilty on the 18th of every month as I write my student loan check - was that Master's degree worth it?  I am not using it.  Oh, how I want to be using it - on my terms, of course...from HOME, very part-time.

I get upset and frustrated with myself for being like this - guilty, sinful, desiring more, etc.

As I've spent time in prayer and studying God's Word these last few days, I've been reminded of what my real, God-given jobs are.  I've also been rebuked because my focus has been totally off.

God reminded me of my son: Aidan is my job - to train him up in godliness.

You shall teach them [commandments] diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.

Deuteronomy 6:7

God reminded me of my husband: Even before my son, I am called to be Brian's helpmeet.  One simple example is that I always drive when we travel.  If I had a job, I wouldn't be as ready and willing to let Brian answer emails or study for his sermon in the Jeep.  And driving is simple - it's often the emotional and spiritual support of him that I fail at.

Then the LORD God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him."

Genesis 2:18

God reminded me of my life: It's His.  He made me a wife.  He made me a mom.  He made me a ministry wife.  He gave me a love for students and teaching.  He is the One who opens and closes doors of opportunity.  He, if He desires that I work part-time, will open that door.  Since He hasn't, I need to move forward, by faith, each day trusting that He will provide for all of our needs and give me the self-control to say no to that facial cream that promises to take away all my sun-spots and decrease my pore size.

God reminded me of His view on money: Don't love it.  God will give us exactly what we need, providing for our everything.  It is my prayer that I wouldn't focus on what I don't have or can't do, but that I would be satisfied in Christ alone - for He is all I truly need and He is the One who satisfies all of my longings.  

For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils.  It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.

I Timothy 6:10

So, today, I'm going forward - battling my desires to be discontent and trusting the LORD with everything.  I'm going to be faithful and satisfied with the tasks God has given me today.  May I be a wife, mom, pastor's wife, friend, sister, daughter, daughter-in-law, etc. for His glory.  And, who knows, maybe the LORD will open a door for me to use my Master's degree very part-time to earn a little extra gas or savings money.  In His time, of course, because His timing is perfect.

John & Journaling

Over the years, so many authors and mentors have suggested that I keep a journal - whether that be a prayer journal or just a journal of thoughts.  I always sorta rolled my eyes and thought, "Yeah - who has time for that?!?"

Well, Brian read the above John Adams biography recently and highly recommended it to me.  The author bases an incredible amount of his knowledge of John Adams on John's journal entries and letters to his wife, Abigail.  Now, not that I want people reading about me in a biography in 400 years but, as I read this biography, I have seen the importance of organizing your thoughts and being able to "get out" things that you would/should never say to another human being.  For example, we learn about how lazy Benjamin Franklin was!  John never would have said that aloud, but in his journal we find out just what he thought of Ben Franklin.

I share everything with my sweet, patient and wise husband.  But, as I've been reading various pastor's wives' blogs, I'm realizing that it's important to be an encourager to our husbands in their role as pastor.  Much to my dismay, lately, I have been a discourager.  I grow frustrated with church members, the tinyness of the town, etc., so instead of telling those to Brian, I have started an Iowa Journal in Microsoft Word.  It's been amazing how freeing it feels to "tell someone" - but I'm not having to speak poorly of anyone/anything!  I can get it off my chest, organize my thoughts, and find Scripture to encourage and/or put me in my place (bring me to repentance - which has been MOST helpful). 

Journaling has become a good thing for me.  If you've rolled your eyes at the suggestion of it, I'd encourage you to consider it.  I'd also encourage you to consider picking up this thick John Adams book at your local library; it won't disappoint.  There are many, many things that I am excited to blog about from his biography - what an amazingly brilliant man!

Behind a Frowning Providence...

It seems as if God's Providence for our little family as of late has been one big frown.  In a sense, the last 17 days have been as emotionally dark as the week Aidan spent in the NICU after his birth.  Unfortunately, everything in my being has fought to rebel against Providence.  

 

Two friends recently posted quotes to FB that immensely encouraged me and brought me to my knees in tears.  Thank you, Brian Cochran, for posting this hymn (and what's the name of it?):

 

God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform;
He plants His footsteps in the sea
And rides upon the storm.

Deep in unfathomable mines
Of never failing skill
He treasures up His bright designs
And works His sovereign will.

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take;
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy and shall break
In blessings on your head.

Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,
But trust Him for His grace;
Behind a frowning providence
He hides a smiling face.

His purposes will ripen fast,
Unfolding every hour;
The bud may have a bitter taste,
But sweet will be the flower.

Blind unbelief is sure to err
And scan His work in vain;
God is His own interpreter,
And He will make it plain.

 

And from Bekah McFarland who is a seminary wife:

 

 "That's how God works. He gets at our most fundamental idolatry and He ruthlessly crushes it in His unfathomable love and fatherly kindness and inscrutable wisdom and He goes after our greatest treasures and He leaves us with nothing but himself so that we go limping on our way for the rest of our lives having learned: 'My grace is sufficient for you for my power is perfected in weakness.' Don't underestimate God. Don't underestimate His ruthless compassionate gracious commitment to His glory or His commitment to your everlasting joy and good. He will pursue you graciously and ruthlessly and rip out the idols of your soul that would otherwise consume you. He is working for your joy and your good even when you cannot perceive it and have ceased to be able to feel anything anymore." ~Ligon Duncan, The Underestimated God, T4G 2012

 

Additionally, my very fatigued and sick husband preached an amazing sermon today (most definitely in the strength of Christ).  Lately, his sermons hit me like a golf ball between the eyes; I swear whatever is going on in our family, that's what the sermon addresses (even though he's just preaching through the life of Abraham in Genesis).  I am always convicted and encouraged.

Today he preached from Genesis 16.  Once Hagar is impregnated by Abram, she despises Sarai's goodness to her and uses her pregnancy as an opportunity to boast.  Then, due to Sarai's mistreatment of her, she flees into the wilderness where an angel of the LORD meets her saying,

"Return to your mistress and submit to her."

Genesis 16: 9b

Hagar is then obedient to the LORD, returns to Sarai, and bears Ishmael to Abram.

Brian encouraged his flock to be patient in our sufferings and trials because we serve a God who sees all of our hardships, promises strength to persevere through Christ, and has promised to those who put their trust in Him a reward that will far outlast any suffering.  He also showed us how the LORD most often tells His people to face the hardships.  It's not about "Your Best Life Now!" God doesn't promise an easy life; in fact, He promises that in this world we WILL have trouble.  Thankfully, we have Christ who promises to strengthen us until we are united with Him in death.

So while I want to run far away like Hagar did, throwing off all the hardships that so heavily weigh me down, I will be obedient and "return" to the life God has called me to.  Because "behind a frowning Providence, He hides a smiling face."  I can't wait to see what that smiling face looks like.

No Fretting

I've been stressed lately.  Whether it be finances, this new aerobics class I'm teaching, a fussy teething toddler or trying to help God with my future (ssooooo dumb of me), I've been letting anxiety and frustration get the best of me.

I woke early today to spend time with Jesus before my class and pulled out Lydia Brownback's Trust devotional.

I have been totally convicted.  I've been fretting.  And that is SO sinful.  She writes:

Psalm 37 cautions us not to fret because fretting causes only harm.  Fretting is anxious hovering, a sinful wresting of control from God; it's complaining with an impatient spirit.  Fretting adds fuel to the fire of our difficulties, and if we indulge in it, it won't be long before we find ourselves elevating our weak and inadequate reason above God and his word.  Once this happens, life begins to look like a complicated jigsaw puzzle where fitting all the pieces together is all up to us...Real prayer includes letting go of your insistence on a particular answer or timing.  If you have really prayed, you can simply rest and wait for God.  Trust him with you concern...  (page 60).

This was just the reminder I needed today - a reminder to confess my sin and to hold open my hands before the LORD so that I may no longer cling so tightly to my desires or worries, but let them go.  I trust my loving, sovereign heavenly Father with my life - He's never let me down.  His promises are sure.

The steps of a man are established by the LORD,

when he delights in his way;

though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong,

for the LORD upholds his hand.

Psalm 37:23

I'm off to teach my second aerobics class; I'm so nervous.  But I'm trusting...

:)

Dream Home?

When I saw this pinned under 'Dream Home' on Pinterest,

my first thought wasn't, "Wow, that's beautiful!"

My first thought was, "How lonely."

I think I'm a city gal.

I thought I was a country girl at heart.

But I'm realizing I like the busy-ness of the city.

I love people.

I go crazy if I don't see friends at least a few times a week.

But, don't get me wrong, I'd love a refreshing and relaxing vacation 

to this 'Dream Home'.

I'm still loving Pinterest.

This is the project I want to tackle next:

Instead of covering canvases with fabric, you cover shoe box lids.

My living room walls are so bare; I can't wait to go pick fabric this week.

But first I have to dig in the closet to see if I have a variety of shoe boxes.

I am a thrower - I usually don't save them.

If I don't, Aidan and I may "need" a new pair.

Just kidding.

I'm on a budget.

If you're not 'pinning' yet, let me know and I'll 'invite' you! :)

Best Recipe EVER

If you know me, you know know my dislike for all things kitchen related.

Unless it's kitchen decor.

I have not been "Pinning" any recipes.

I only like being in the kitchen if we have company - which means I have someone to chat with while I'm slaving away serving my family.

So I am very thankful for Rachel.

She is a seminarian wife so she's on a budget.

But she finds the best recipes and blogs her meal plan each week!

I so copy her.

The Lunds in Iowa are usually eating what the Borgs in Michigan are eating on any given night.

What's the best recipe she's ever posted?

Zesty BBQ Chicken

Why?

It's a crock-pot recipe.

It only requires 5 ingredients.

You can throw the chicken in frozen.

And you eat from it for days.

I serve with chips and steamed veggies (i.e. Steamers from the frozen section).

Yes...this is my kinda recipe!

Thanks, Rach!

Keep this kind comin'...

Encouragement!

Life in ministry can be difficult and discouraging.

But lately, we have been so encouraged.

Desiring God's Pastor's Conference encouraged us.

Brian, Aidan, and I traveled to Minneapolis earlier this week so that Brian could attend this conference.

Brian was refreshed by the words from the speakers and received encouragement from other pastors.

I was refreshed simply by being in the city, walking the Skyway, drinking Starbucks, and browsing in all the stores.

Aidan, well, he wasn't refreshed.  He didn't sleep well and next time will be with his grandparents! ;)

My plan is to listen to some of the conference lectures this week as I houseclean.

You can find the talks here.

Meeting with a friend encouraged me.

A Garner friend who I hadn't sat down and talked to in months drove to Burnsville to shop with me during the conference (yay, Dad, for watching Aidan so I could shop!).  

 I was so encouraged by what the LORD is teaching her and how she is growing her in faith and knowledge of Him.  Love her so much!

Aidan dropping his morning nap has encouraged me.

 I am now planning a "Mommies" group for Thursday mornings.  

There are about seven mommies that are coming for food and fellowship each Thursday beginning February 9.  Besides playing and fellowshipping, we will be studying Shepherding a Child's Heart together.  Please pray for this sweet time - that we may be encouraged in our friendships, faith, and parenting.

Garner friendships have encouraged me.

The LORD has been so faithful - we are seeing some fruit in our ministry here!  

The couples that came to our  Christmas party expressed an interest in meeting on a monthly basis.  We are planning to meet again on February 19 to discuss what our "Young Couples Fellowship" will look like.

In fact, I need to make the evite today.  I am an evite queen - it is so fun to make them!

Being done with my Zion Women's Fellowship talk has encouraged me.

I spoke to a group of older ladies at church on Thursday about holiness.

I am not a fan of public speaking and was shooting myself for agreeing to do this back in August.

But I am thankful it is over and for the ways in which the LORD got me through it!

I am thankful for this season of encouragement.  God is good and knows just what we need.

It's About Time

I'm a Facebook-lurker.

I'm a fashion-watcher.

I'm a lingo-skulker.

I'm a trend-slow-poke.

I wait to dive into things until they've hit big.

Like pointy-toed shoes in the early 2000s.

Or Facebook.

Or blogging.

Or texting.

Or a smart phone.

Or referring to Sundays as The Lord's Day.

(Ok so maybe that isn't big - only in the seminary culture!?)

Or skinny jeans.

Or Twitter.

I dove in, but not until the trends were going strong (or almost passed!).

So I'm not waiting any longer.

Today is it.

Pinterest, here I come.

What do I need to know?
 ******
Update:  Well, I just found out I need an invite!
How totally dumb to be put on a "waiting list" for a website!
Unless you're invited by someone.
Will someone please invite me?
I really am a late bloomer.
My mom is probably already "pinning".
She was texting before I was.
Love you, Mom!
:)

My Constant Battle

I heart Jerry Bridges like I heart the Tripp brothers.

Recently, I've been reading Bridges' The Practice of Godliness.  He encourages believers to put on the new self (Ephesians 4:20-24) - humility, contentment, thankfulness, joy, holiness, faithfulness, etc.  It is all so so good, but I especially enjoyed the contentment chapter.  "Contentment is one of the most distinguishing traits of a godly person" (pg 85).  I hate that it is still my constant struggle.  After devouring Lydia Brownback's Contentment and William Barcley's The Secret of Contentment, I thought I was fairly well educated in the contentment department.  But my heart still skips a beat and, if I'm not careful, tears well up in my eyes when I see SoCal friends write on Facebook, "It's 80 degrees in January - I'm so glad I live here!" or when I watch our besties drive away, not knowing when I will see them again.

Yes, I have a lot of growing to do in this area.  It's my constant battle.  And as my pastor-husband said on Sunday, we are in a battle in this world!  I'm thankful for Jerry Bridges' chapter on contentment because it has encouraged my sinful yet redeemed, teary heart.

Bridges has reminded me:

• Contentment in our bibles is actually translated sufficiency (pg 85).  My grace is sufficient for you (II Cor 12:9).  Because of God's grace, I have ALL I need to be contentment - no matter my location, provisions, or possessions.  That is SUCH good news.
•  Discontentment is destructive and very deadly.  It was discontent that led Eve to eat the apple in the Garden of Eden.  It was discontent that led to Satan's fall - he refused to accept his position in the hierarchy of angelic beings (pg 87).  Bridges writes, "Discontent is one of the most satanic of all sins, and to indulge in it is to rebel against God just as Satan did," (pg 87).
• God places us where we will most please Him.  "Contentment lies...in being faithful to fulfill the function that God has called us to..." (pg 92).  The Potter has the right to do whatever He pleases with the clay (Romans 9)!   I am where I am and doing what I am because God, an all-wise and all-loving Father, has deemed it best for me, and He promises to work it for my good (Romans 8:28 and Jeremiah 29:11).  And I don't even deserve to be where I am (Ephesians 3:8)!  It is a gift.
• The secret of contentment that Paul learned: "God's grace is sufficient, whatever the circumstance," (pg 98).  
• The grace that is sufficient and enables me to be content is expressed in two ways: "God's unmerited favor to us through Christ and God's divine assistance to us through the Holy Spirit," (pgs 98-99).
• How then should I live contentedly?  By realizing that no matter what my situation is, it is far better than I deserve because all I deserve is God's wrath (apart from Christ).  And that no matter how frustrating or difficult our situation may be, we have God's divine assistance through the Holy Spirit to help us be content and respond to life in a godly manner (pg 99).

Additional resources to help believers grow in the area of contentment:

Luke 12:15

Hebrews 13:5

I Timothy 6:6-8

Psalm 119:36-37

I'm going to spend some time praying over these verses before my little man wakes up.  May I find my contentment in Christ alone today in this wee-little town.

P.S. My brother and sister-in-law are definitely not struggling with discontentment...they are in HAWAII! ;)

Happy Honeymooning!

Andy and Callie's photographer also finished the wedding pictures:

The Ringbearer!

When we get the real photos (these are "stolen" off the Internet), we'll send out a New Year's card...or will it be Valentine's Day?

The Resolutions of Edwards

What New Year's Resolutions are you making?

Normally mine are to exercise more and memorize more Scripture. Vague, I know!

Thankfully, I've been exercising at 5:30 am three times per week for over 3 months now.  I absolutely LOVE the class - cardio sculpt.  Exercise, though, is only of some value:

...for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.

I Timothy 4:8

I  need to be more consistent with Scripture memorization.  My goal for 2012 is one verse (or chunk of verses) per week.  I think I'll start memorizing the verses from the Wise Words for Moms so I can be prepared to guide Aidan in truth (and it will be sooo helpful for me as well).

We've been enjoying time in northern MN with my parents this week and look forward to our weekend with our Cali besties, but next week I'm going to spend time studying The Resolutions of Jonathan Edwards.  He was such an amazingly Godly man who was constantly putting sin to death.  Even though we were justified through Christ's death and resurrection when we believed, it's essential that we are continually putting sin to death - it's our do in our sanctification process.  I've read through Edwards' resolutions before, but I am very excited to spend time studying them over coffee and praying that the LORD would guide me in putting sin to death.  

So in addition to memorizing one verse/week, I'm going to also make resolutions similar to those of Jonathan Edwards.

What do you think of Edwards' Resolutions?  Any that you're interested in keeping for 2012?

Happy New Year!  May the LORD bless your 2012 and draw you closer to Himself.

Christmas Cheer

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.

God, in his amazing mercy, sent us a Savior to save us from His wrath that we so deserve.  And that is reason to celebrate - all year 'round - but especially during the Christmas season.  

So we invited some young couples from church over last Wednesday for some Christmas cheer - warm drinks, goodies, and games.

 

Besides the great friends, my favorite part was the yummy drinks.  I googled "warm Christmas drinks" and found some awesome recipes.  Brian wrote out the menu:

Nine couples came and it was so much fun to fellowship together as we celebrated Christ's birth.  And as we were all playing What's Yours Like? together, I was overcome with gratitude as tears welled up in my eyes - the LORD has given us so much.  Not only salvation through His Son, but friends in this tiny remote town...9 good girlfriends!  Wow.  And a warm home with fun Christmas decor and lights to make everything sparkle.  Candles.  Good food.  And joyous hearts.  It was a wonderful evening, and I am very thankful for all the Lord has given to us.

************

The members of our church have been so gracious this season.  Al DeWitt spent two days hanging Christmas lights outside our house because he knew that Brian was just swamped with 2 funerals, 2 weddings, and 2 additional services on top of his normal monthly duties.  Thank you so much, Al!   Each day this week, the phone has been ringing with people asking to drop off gifts - hot chocolate, pork and beef for the freezer, vacation money, lefsa, strawberry pie, Scentsy burners, giftcards, ornaments, and cookies.  They are so good to attend to our physical needs and very generous - we are blessed by this congregation!  And Brian's flight to Andy's wedding?  A gift too.

Zion also loves Leo.  An invisible fence man from Des Moines showed up last week because the church is raising money (thanks, Mary!) for a fence to surround the property!  Leo and I will then receive four training sessions and then...the best part...I won't have to bundle up to take Leo out every three hours to go potty!  Yay yay yay!

It's hard to believe today is already December 23.  Last night Brian and I enjoyed the evening drinking Glogg and wrapping gifts together.  Tonight the college students are coming over, tomorrow is Christmas at our house with Brian's family (I am making the ham!), and Sunday we are off to celebrate Christmas with my family for a few days.  Friday brings an extra special treat with a visit from our California besties, Kgal and her hubby and son (who is just 3 weeks older than Aidan).  I have missed Kgal so so much and cherish our weekly phone dates...but I can't wait to squeeze her and see her face...I am tearing up just thinking about our sweet reunion.  And the last time our boys were together?  Sean was 3 weeks old and Aidan was 3 days old.  It will be so fun to see them interact.

Blessings to you and yours as you prepare to celebrate these next few days. May Christ be first in your heart and mind during this time.  Jesus is the BEST - He just rocks - I hope you know Him!

Conference Details

The Revive '11 conference was fantastic!  Sue and I spent 10 hours in the car, 26 hours at the conference, and another 10 hours in the car.  We were encouraged and given so many ideas that we didn't ever run out of things to talk about!  Filling our bags were five possible women's bible studies that we can't wait to get our hands on and pray about starting at Zion.

Speakers Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Susan Hunt, and Crawford Loritts were my favorites.  

Nancy warned us of nine  potential pitfalls of ministry.  We were to circle a few pitfalls, in particular, that could trip us up.  One I circled was: serving without love.  To effectively minister, we need to love as Christ loved us, "...who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant," (Philippians 2:6-7).  I pray the LORD would work in my heart so that I may truly love our church members as Christ has loved me. I also circled the pitfall of losing perspective.  It's all too easy to forget how big God is as the problems mount and mount and the discouragement seems suffocating.  But the church is Christ's...it's His bride, not mine.  I am not the one who can change hearts; only the Holy Spirit can stir up affections for Christ in the hearts of pew warmers.  And like a piano can't play beautiful music on it's own, I need Christ working through me in order to do anything "beautiful" for His Kingdom.

Crawford Loritts wrote the book Leadership as an Identity.   He writes that leaders have four characteristics. Two of those traits that I found interesting were brokenness and radical, immediate obedience.  Crawford defined brokenness as a "permanent awareness of God-needyness."  As we've seen in the bible, God didn't use perfect people!  Two pillars of brokenness are "proactive surrender" and "an acute awareness of our sinfulness."
Crawford also said, "You don't have to be successful, but you do have to be obedient."  He also referred to ministry not as a job, but as an assignment.  My assignment now is Garner.  How will I choose to fulfill the assignment He's given me?  May I be able to say with Crawford, "I'd rather die than disobey God,"  and I'd like to take it further by saying, "I'd rather die than disobey God by living a joyless, discontented life in the circumstances that He's ordained for me."

Susan Hunt spoke on a book she's written, Spiritual Mothering.  A Titus 2 ministry is a dream I have for Zion!  If you haven't read her book, I'd recommend it.

One other treat was the Pastor's Wives breakout session.  What I enjoyed most was the panel of pastor's wives who'd been in the ministry for no less than 30 years.  We were able to ask them questions and it was so interesting.  There are a lot of hurting pastor's wives out there and a lot of frustrated ministries.  I need to be praying for them!

Besides the Peppermint Mocha and Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks, the last treat was seeing my hometown friend, Miriam.  Her husband just planted a church near my parent's home.  She is such a godly woman - so full of wisdom amidst the trying times that planting a church brings.  It was very fun to chat with her for a short time.

My sweet hubby gave me some of his pastor appreciation money to spend at the conference!  So I came home with two bags of books and haven't wanted to do anything besides read.  I'll tell you about Choosing Gratitude by Nancy Leigh DeMoss later this week.

They are hosting a conference in Indianapolis next September that is for all women, not just leaders.  This is the link if you're interested: True Woman '12

P.S. Aidan and Daddy had so much fun while I was gone!  Aidan didn't even miss me.  I am so thankful for the quality time they got to spend together and for what an amazing dad Brian is.  Aidan loves him so much; he'll hardly come near me when Daddy is home.  On Thursday Leo comes back from Grandma & Grandpa's house.  He's having so much fun there, but I miss him!

Frugal Me?!

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control..." Galatians 5:22-23a

Not even one cell of my bone marrow is frugal.  I'm like a magnet to the most expensive item in any category.  But lately I've become convicted of my need to cultivate self-control in the area of spending.  No, I don't just go on random shopping sprees or have two caramel lattes in a week (I wish!).  But I do have trouble sticking to my grocery budget (which includes toiletries and cleaning supplies).  Sometimes things that aren't on my list just sneak into the cart.  And do I use those extra items?  Yes - usually first!  Especially because they are often the fun, unnecessary items like potato chips or Almond Joy Fun Size Bars.

Ugh, budgets.  Hate them.  However, Julie (see my previous post) linked to the blog: The Frugal Girl and I thought I'd check her out.  No, I probably won't be cutting my hole-y jeans off at the knee and sewing the legs together to make a skirt or dye my faded 8 year old shirt that cost me $10 black again.  BUT I may check out Aldi.  Yes, that's the store we used to drive by each Sunday on the way to church and every Sunday, I'd think to myself as we were sitting at the stoplight next to it, "Gross...who would shop there?"  But my snobby-self is turning not so snobby in order to save money!

The Frugal Girl's site is really neat.  When I get back from vacation (I'll tell you about that in another post), I'm going to try her meal planning.  She gives you the menu, recipes, and shopping list (yes, she shops at Aldi).  Her goal is to spend $400/month.  At first that seems like a lot - and was my monthly goal - but I just can't seem to stick to $400.  So I'm going to try it.  I'll let you know how it goes.  

I'll be that 'green' person who's bringing my own bags to Aldi and paying $.25 for a cart.  That's so not me, but if I can be a good steward of our money, it's worth it.  

Let me know if you try Frugal Girl's menu planning - I'd love to hear how it goes for you!  And pray for me...that I'll be self-controlled!

Contentment - It's Possible!

Brian came home from Desiring God's Annual Conference with The Secret of Contentment by William B. Barcley.  It was just what the Doctor ordered for my discontent, frustrated soul.  I could have written this part from the introduction:

"Now in a new state, in a new part of the country, I struggled with God's sovereignty.  I found no delight in my new job.  I found no delight in God and his plan for me.  My anger and disappointment kept me up at night.  I struggled to do the new work that I had been called to do.  For a year I accomplished very little and performed poorly on the job.

My discontent also affect my family.  I sulked around the house.  I withdrew from my family.  I was quick-tempered and yelled when something disrupted me...I became a self-absorbed, unloving husband and father," (p. 13).

My discontent is literally killing me.  It's wiping out my joy, my love for Christ, my family relationships, my desire to be with others, and I HATE it.  These circumstances in my life won't change - at least not in the near future - so what am I going to do?  Today I've decided I'm going to fight like crazy for contentment.  Paul says he learned the secret, so why can't I!?

Dr. Barcley extensively studied the Puritans in his research on contentment, out of which his book was written.  He says:

1. Contentment is attainable!  Yay!  According to Philippians 4:11-13, God empowers His people to acquire this Christian virtue in whatever situation He leads them.  That is so encouraging to me - I don't have to live in my misery.

2. Contentment is learned.  Paul says, "I have learned the secret..." (Philippians 4:12).  Dr. Barcley writes, "...true contentment comes by being satisfied with God and longing for heaven...But the key idea here is that we have to work at contentment.  We have to learn it.  We have to study it.  And we especially need to be 'reprogrammed' in our thinking," (p. 26).  I've met people who have learned this and they are so at peace, full of joy and just so great to be around.  I long to have that peace and joy - even if I am battling hard things.

3. You will not truly be content until you learn to be content in every situation that you face in life.  The author encourages his readers with, "...hardship has a God-ordained and Christ-exalting place in our lives.  God uses affliction to sanctify us, to make us holy.  But afflictions work in this way only if we face them with a certain degree of contentment - accepting them as from the hand of God...When we accept all hardships as from the hand of our heavenly Father, we grow in maturity, holiness, and contentment," (p. 29).

Dr. Barcley finishes up his first chapter with a definition of contentment and seven additional ideas about contentment and how it looks.  If this is an area you are struggling with - maybe it's not location or occupation, but relational or physical - I'd highly recommend this book.  As Paul taught in Philippians, contentment is learned and we must study study study it!  This book is a great way to do just that.  I can't wait to read more, and I pray that the LORD uses it to bring peace where there is none and joy where there is grumbling and frustration in my life.

See these two!?  Aren't they cute!?

They deserve a wife and mom who is happy and contented...thankfully, the LORD is in the business of doing the impossible.

Whew

This has been quite the week.  Aidan is cutting teeth.  Leo is crazy.  Aidan is clingy.  Leo is wild.  Aidan is whiny.  Leo is a chewer.  Both are busier and more mobile than ever.  Additionally, Brian is going through hard things and it's difficult to watch.  AND, we've been trying to purchase a vehicle and that's not going well.  I am exhausted - between company, over zealousness on my projects, staying up late with the hubs, waking early with the boy, I'm about to crash.  Wait, I did crash today...emotionally.  Doesn't a cry do a girl good?!  It relieves all the pressure; it truly has a calming effect.

But I know a good cry's calming nature doesn't last.  The pressure rises with the next scream from Aidan, the next bite from Leo...what am I going to do?  How am I going to handle my emotions?  My frustrations?  I am so thankful for a GOD in whom I can trust and cast all my cares, knowing that He loves me and my boys.

Peace and patience amidst these little and big frustrations is found in God alone - as I cling to the promises found in His Word.  The cry felt good for a moment, but the peace from the LORD is lasting and so wonderful.

Here's what I've been trusting today:

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.  James 1:13

"In God's Place, At God's Pace, By Future Grace"

A chapter heading in John Piper's Future Grace

Be patient, therefore, brethren, until the coming of the Lord...

As an example, brethren, of suffering and patience,

take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord.

Behold, we count those blessed who endured.

You have heard of the endurance of Job

and have seen the outcome of the Lord's dealings,

that the Lord is full of compassion and is merciful.

James 5:7-11 (condensed by Piper in Future Grace)

And in the midst of a whiny, clingy child and a wild, chewing puppy who is taking all the toys from my whiny, clingy child:

But I have calmed and quieted my soul,

like a weaned child with its mother;

like a weaned child is my soul within me.

Psalm 131:2

P.S. Tomorrow I'm driving 2 hours for a pumpkin spice latte.  Can't wait.  Starbucks, I love you.