Whiner or Worshiper?

Lately, this lady in town has gotten me thinking:  each time I bump into her, she's complaining.  Either she hasn't slept well or she doesn't want to decorate for Christmas because it's so much work or she doesn't want to shop for the grandkids cuz she doesn't know what to buy or she can't wait for the snow to get here so she can start waiting for it to be gone (true story!).  Now what do people think about me after bumping into me up town?  I often tell people how many times Aidan woke up in the night or that I got to bed too late so I'm feeling tired.  Really, who cares!?  I want to be known as a grateful person, filled with joy because of what Christ has done for me.  I don't want people thinking about me what I think about that downer, complaining woman - I want people to run toward Christ after an encounter with me.

This is just another reason Nancy Leigh DeMoss's book Choosing Gratitude has been so good for me.  And, in order to help solidify in my mind what I am learning, I'm going to continue to blog through some of the chapters I most enjoy in her book.

Nancy writes, "After decades of ministry to hurting people, I have come to believe that a failure to give thanks is at the heart of much, if not most, of the sense of gloom, despair, and despondency that is so pervasive even among believers today," (pg 79).  Isn't that true!?

She goes on to describe six differences between grateful and ungrateful people. 

1. A grateful person is a humble person, while ingratitude reveals a proud heart (pg 80).

2. A grateful heart is God-centered and others-conscious, while an ungrateful person is self-centered and self-conscious (pg 82).

Our world is full of people seeking to get their needs met.  Think about the McDonald's slogan, "My way,"  It's these people who focus on "my needs," "my feelings," etc. that are the blamers and are quick to accuse God of being unfair and ungenerous.

3. A grateful heart is a full heart, while an unthankful heart is an empty one (pg 85).

Paul says in Philippians 4 :18, "I have all, and abound; I am full."  Yet his friends had abandoned him, he was in prison and striped bare of all creature comforts...and yet he was full!  Nancy goes on to describe a dog who'd lost a limb.  The dog isn't traumatized by losing the limb, the dog is overjoyed to be alive - chasing squirrels, fetching balls, etc.  I need to be more dog-like!  ;)

4. People with grateful hearts are easily contented, while ungrateful people are subject to bitterness and discontent (pg 87).

This is my struggle - I strive, daily, to be thankful for what I have...which is soooo much!  I have to quote Nancy here because I just love what she says,

"I have spoken with many women who are chronically unhappy, "down," or depressed.  The details and reasons vary, of course.  But I have become increasingly convinced, after lots of these kinds of conversations, that one of the chief reasons behind a pervasive sense of blues and blahness is a failure to be thankful.

"Ungrateful people tend to hold tightly to their rights.  And when others fail to perform the way they want or expect them to, they feel justified in making demands and retaliating emotionally," (pg 88).  She goes on to talk about how Ruth in the bible was just the opposite.

5. A grateful heart will be revealed and expressed by thankful words, while an unthankful heart will manifest itself in murmuring and complaining (pg 89).

I love her example: instead of asking, "Why did God put thorns on roses?"  Praise Him saying, "God has put roses among the thorns."  Be encouraged to look for blessings in the trials and hardships.

6. Thankful people are refreshing, life-giving springs, while unthankful people pull others down with them into the stagnant pools of their selfish, demanding, unhappy ways (pg 91).

Our natural tendency is to react to life's circumstances in a negative way.  But may our responses as Christians be as Matthew Henry's, making people feel "how happy a thing it must be to be a Christian!"

I'm praying today that I would be a worshiper and not a whiner! 

A Gratitude Filled Day

Happy Thanksgiving!

We have much to thank the LORD for today and always.

I also want to wish my dearest, favorite mother a happy birthday!  

 The whole world is thankful for you today, Mom.  I love you!

Traditions

Today we went for a walk and a few homes had their Christmas trees up!  It was so fun to see, even though there isn't any snow on the ground yet in Iowa.  (Side note about walks: Leo grabs every piece of trash we walk by, carries it for 30 seconds and then proceeds to drop it again...which makes it look like we're littering.  So I pick it up (totally gross, I know) and put it in the bottom of the stroller.  Garner will now be a cleaner place, thanks to Leo.  My stroller, on the otherhand, needs to be cleaned out!)

But seeing the glistening lights on all the Christmas trees got me thinking about how we'll spend the Christmas season.  Aidan will be more into it this year as an 18 month old, and I'd like to start some family traditions.  Noel Piper's Treasuring God in our Traditions has been a go-to resource for me as I ponder what the Christmas season should look like in the Lund household.

But, first, what is a tradition and why are they important?  Noel defines tradition, for the Christian, as "laying up God's words in our hearts and passing his words to the next generation," (pg 26).  In Deuteronomy 11, God gave His people specific instructions for teaching the children about His "greatness and might, his signs and deeds, and his words and commandments," (pg 32).  We see this again in Psalm 78.  Why is this so important for us, as parents, to teach?

...so that they should set their hope in God

and not forget the works of God,

but keep his commandments...

Psalm 78:7 

The goal of traditions in the Christian home, at Christmas and always, should be to fulfill the command in Deuteronomy 11:19:

...teach [God's words] to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise,

so that our children may set their hope in God - the only One worth hoping in!

How will we be fulfilling this commandment during the Christmas season this year?  Here are some ideas I have:

• Picking out the tree -  last year we cut one down at Aldrich's Tree Farm while Aidan slept in his infant carrier inside the warm car.  I'm sure he'll love to help this year!
• Setting a day aside to decorate the house for Christmas, with a special focus on helping Aidan set up his new nativity set (Fischer Price so it's unbreakable!) from Auntie Callie & Uncle Andy, guiding Aidan to an understanding of it's importance.
• Advent Calendar - Advent is a time to reflect on what it must have been like waiting for the promised salvation of God through the birth of Christ and also a time to look ahead, as we long for Christ's second coming.  I purchased a tree advent calendar from Pottery Barn Kids, and each date has a pocket that I will fill with either a verse or an object that helps us to reflect on the coming of Christ.  Objects may include:  a toy star, toy hammer (Jesus was a carpenter), a cross, a heart (God so loved the world...), a toy sheep (Jesus is the Lamb of God), or a small candle (Jesus is the Light of the World).  I may even slip a piece of chocolate in there one day because my boys love chocolate.
• Gifts to those in need (Operation Christmas Child, financial donation, etc.)

 And Mrs. Piper gave some other excellent traditions that I'd like to start in the future (when Aidan is older):

• Advent Candles
• Gifts to Jesus (i.e. a needy family)
• Bethlehem Tree

And Santa?  Yes, Aidan will be soon sitting on his lap.  However, the Piper's chose not to do Santa with their children and she describes why in her book.  I may do a future blog post on why we're choosing to do Santa with our children.


What are your Christmas traditions?  How will you be helping your children place their hope in Christ this season?

 

Boy Date

Yesterday the boys were outside putting away the picnic table & chairs, the swing, grill, and then they even swept out the garage!  I was able to get some housework done - thanks, Bri!

Scripture & Parenting

You know my love for all things Paul Tripp, particularly Shepherding a Child's Heart.  Well, Ginger Plowman's Don't Make Me Count to Three is another wonderful heart-oriented parenting book.  Ms. Plowman's book gives very specific examples of what to do (or not to do) in common situations that parents find themselves in using the format of examples a and b (hint: example a is always the incorrect way to respond!).  I especially enjoy the way Don't Make Me Count to Three enables you to see why our common ways of responding are unbiblical and, therefore, incorrect.  

Ms. Plowman uses many verses of Scripture in her examples, but not in a way that "bangs the bible over their heads."  She does it gently and with grace, always presenting the gospel to her children and providing them the opportunity to repent and be forgiven.  I love what Paul Tripp's brother, Tedd, says about this book:

"This book is properly aligned.  It makes the focus of discipline the heart and unpacks how to use the Scriptures for both encouragement and reproof.  The tendency in parenting books is to be heavy on ideas and strategies for managing our children and light on the biblical foundations.  Don't Make Me Count to Three weaves together solid biblical truth and practical parenting advice.  This bears reading and rereading."

 

I love this book.  I need to reread it...and reread it (like Shepherding a Child's Heart which I've read 5x).  But one thing I've set out to do, being encouraged by Ms. Plowman, is memorize all the verses she referenced in her book.  I've counted 22 sets of verses that she uses often in her parenting.  I so desire for God's Word to be on the tip of my tongue that I may use it for both encouragement and reproof in my parenting.

Thus far I've memorized only three sets of verses (Proverbs 6:16-19, James 3:17, and I Corinthians 13:6) and this weekend I'm working on James 1:19-20 and Ephesians 4:22-24.  The Lord has blessed my memorizing (and I pray He continues to do so!) - the Words have been both convicting to my soul and inspiring.  May they have the same effect on my sweet (but sinful and in need of God's grace) son.

Let me know if you decide to read this book and/or memorize these verses; I could use an accountability partner to keep me on track!  ;)

Side note: I just ordered Wise Words for Moms which is Ms. Plowman's pamphlet ($4 on Amazon).  It's an awesome chart (that I hope to put on my fridge for quick reference) that lists the child's behavior (such as complaining, stirring up strife, blaming, bad friendships, conceit, etc.), heart probing questions you can ask, the reproof or "putting off of the old self", the encouragement or "putting on the new self", and additional verses to use for each listed behavior.  This is a great way to spend $4 - even better than a Peppermint Mocha from Starbucks (which are closer to $5 now - I can't believe I've spent $5 on a cup of coffee!).

[P.S. Ms. Plowman does quote Mr. Tripp a lot in her book - and for that reason, I'd recommend reading Shepherding a Child's Heart first.]

My Climber

Aidan has been quite the goer lately - both vertically and horizontally!  Whether it's running, playing chase, climbing on the vacuum's bag carrier, or up onto end tables, he's always moving.  And Leo is always by his side:

 Yesterday afternoon Aidan decided to get out Mommy's little broom and "brush" his hair.  If it's brush-like, it goes in the hair.  Even the toothbrush!

Then Leo decided it was his turn.  That was the end of that.

 Off to the next event.

 The tongue appears when he's really concentrating.

 "I'm so proud of what I've accomplished, Mom!"

Now he's trying to get down.  I'm thankful that Grammie Lund taught him how to turn around in order to get off of things safely.  It started with the stairs and he's applied it to the couch, ottoman, and now the coffee table!

I love my 16 month old - this is the best age yet!  He is just a ball.

Why Choose Gratitude?

There are a million reasons to be thankful - my husband, my boy, my Leo, a warm shower, hot coffee, etc., but the biggest reason is because I have made been right with God through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.  Nancy Leigh DeMoss in her book, Choosing Gratitude gives her readers eight other reasons to be thankful:

1. Because we are commanded to!

Colossians 3:17: Whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

2. It draws us close to the Lord.

Psalm 1:4: Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise!

3. It's a sure path to peace.

Philippians 4:6-7: Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Nancy's equation: prayer + thanksgiving = peace

4. "Gratitude is a gauge of the heart" (p. 67).

Psalm 140:13: Surely the righteous shall give thanks to your name.

Righteous people are thankful people!  Joni Eareckson Tada, a quadriplegic, has disciplined herself for so many years to give thanks, that it's now her "reflex reaction," (p. 68).  Oh, may it be mine too!  All too often I am the whiner - giving in to discouragement and/or expressing negative thoughts about pressures and problems.  Nancy writes that a grateful heart is the "fruit of a thousand choices" (p. 68) - may I make the choice a thousand times each day not to whine, but to give thanks.

5. Gratitude is God's will!

I Thessalonians 5:18: Give thanks in all circumstances for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

I love what Nancy writes, "God's will is not so much a place, a job, or a specific mate, as it is a heart and a lifestyle," (p. 69).

6. It's evidence of being filled with the Holy Spirit.

Evidences of a Spirit-filled life are found in Ephesians 5:19 & 5:21-6:18.  We can't complain and be filled with the Spirit at the same time.

7. "Gratitude reflects Jesus' heart" (p. 72).

For example, after telling Lazarus to "come forth", Jesus said to God, "I thank you that you have heard me," (John 11:41).  Jesus even gave thanks during times of suffering.

8. It gets us ready for heaven.

Revelation 11:17: We give thanks to you, Lord God Almighty, who is and who was, for you have taken your great power and begun to reign.

Whew - so many reasons to be thankful today and every day.  I'm loving this Choosing Gratitude book; I recommend that you put it on your Amazon Wish List!

I'm really thankful for this guy, even if his hat is a wee bit small*:

*At his 16 month check up last week, he weighed 25 pounds, 4 ounces (50th percentile), was 33 inches tall (25th percentile - oh, Lord, please give him height!) and has a head circumference that's near the 90th percentile - which is why the hat may pop off.  ;)