Parenting in the Pew

I love going to church.  I love getting to worship our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  I love that my husband is my pastor.  I love his sermons.  I love that I feel spiritually full after Sunday morning worship.

Enter in a 17 month old: Aidan Lund.  In the service, his 28 pound body doesn't like to face forward, sit still, play with toys or be held.  He likes to face backwards and stare, push against me while I'm trying to hold him and the hymnal, empty the contents of the diaper bag onto the floor, and make noise when he doesn't like being told, "No."  He makes my Sunday mornings a lot more, well...interesting!  

Our church has a tiny mother's room labeled Nursery with an assigned weekly attendant who may or may not show up.  This, in itself, informs you that the congregants want you to keep your child in the service.  

But I don't want my noisy, busy little man distracting others from worship, nor do I want him making it difficult for his preacher daddy to form coherent sentences due to all of his distractions.  Of course I believe that the LORD wants all of His creatures to worship Him, but I'm just not convinced that now is the right time for Aidan to be in the service despite what most in our church believe.

So I purchased:

And she's calmed my fears: she says it's OK to keep your child out of the service until 3 years of age!  "Older infants and toddlers up to two and a half or three years old do well in the nursery...Three-year-olds and some younger children, can be trained to participate in worship that includes the creed, Scripture readings, music, and offering...By about the fourth year of age, children can be in the worship service for the entire time," (pg 59).

 

In their family, the fourth birthday is a rite of passage - you are now officially able to be in the service the entire time!  They make it such a big, wonderful deal that her children often asked to be in the service long before their fourth birthday.

Author (and pastor's wife) Robbie Castleman's main premise is that we, as parents, are to demonstrate to our children what worship is: the surrender of our souls to a God who is jealous for our attention, time, and love (pg 24).  We are to show by example what it means to "seek God, to love his Son and to respond to the Holy Spirit in worship," (pg 25).   Our attitude toward worship will transfer over to our children - are we excited to worship our Lord and Savior?  Are we excited to sit under the preaching of God's holy Word?  If so, our young children will be too.

To help with this, Mrs. Castleman encourages parents to make Sunday the best day of the week!  She says, for example, to create a different Sunday morning routine that includes a special yummy breakfast.  And don't be rushed or frustrated...let Sundays (even the mornings before church) be a true, calm Sabbath rest.

 

I really enjoy what she has to say, and I will post more about what it really looks like to parent in the pew.  But for now, WHEW - I breathe a sigh of relief - it's OK to have Aidan in the nursery.

 

PS - A friend, Rachel, wrote recently on her blog that she is going to start training her 20 month old son to sit in worship.  I asked her to write about how she's going to go about this task...and I hope she does; I am so curious!  There are many differing viewpoints on children in the service (or not), and you have to do what you believe is most honoring to God and best for your family.    Any thoughts or advice?